Leaving the Judging Behind

“Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” Somehow my critique of others and my criticalness toward them finds a way to dismiss this proverb. I’m sure I am not the only guilty one. We Christians can be the worst. We have many hoops for others to jump through, many expectations for them to meet up to, many extra-biblical regulations for them to follow. And so we judge. And so I judge. In his book The Grace Awakening, Chuck Swindoll reminds us of just how dangerous that can be.

“I will never forget what happened to me several years ago that illustrates how wrong I can be in judging another. I was speaking at a summer Bible conference for a week. Attending the same conference was a couple I had not seen before. We met briefly the first night. Both were friendly and seemed especially glad to be there. I began to notice as the week wore on that the man fell asleep in every one of the meetings. I mean every one. Normally, that doesn’t bother me…I often talk in other people’s sleep! But this time, for some strange reason, it began to bug me. By Wednesday I was irritated. As I mentioned, that has happened to me numerous times…but this guy was out within ten minutes after I started to speak. It made no difference if I spoke in the morning or evening – he slept. By the last meeting on Friday evening (through which he slept, of course), I had become convinced it was she who wanted to be there, not her husband. I sized him up as a fellow who talked one way but lived another. ‘Probably a carnal Christian,’ I mused.

“She stayed after the crowd and her husband had left. She asked if she could speak with me for a few minutes. I figured she wanted to talk about how unhappy she was living with a man who didn’t have the same interest in spiritual things as she had. How wrong I was. She said their being there was his idea. It had been his ‘final wish.’ I didn’t understand. She informed me he had terminal cancer and had only weeks to live. At his request they attended the conference where I was speaking even though the medication he was taking for pain made him sleepy – something that greatly embarrassed him. ‘He loves the Lord,’ she said, ‘and you are his favorite Bible teacher. He wanted to be here to meet you and to hear you, no matter what.’ I was sincerely stunned. She thanked me for the week and left. I stood there, all alone, as deeply rebuked as I have ever been. I had judged my brother, and I was as wrong as I could possibly have been.”

Now there’s something to think about. Seldom if ever do we understand completely the world of another person. That of course isn’t a reason to excuse selfish rebellion, blatant sin or haughtiness toward God. But it is a reminder against a life of gracelessness. I like the way Scotty Smith says it, “A sign you're growing in grace: You don't impute as many bad motives to people who disappoint or disagree with you." For most of us it will take some growth. It will take some graciousness. And it will mean leaving the judging behind.