Passing It On

So much of what we are has been passed on to us by our parents. And so much of what our children are has been passed on from us. Thinking about it is enough to take us to the heights and to the depths in the same split second. Graciousness and grouchiness; service and selfishness; love and lust; trust and fear only scratch the surface of the characteristics that are passed down generation after generation.

I came across a story recently by Phil Yancey highlighting this reality. He writes: “I have a friend whose marriage has gone through tumultuous times. One night George passed a breaking point. He pounded the table and the floor. ‘I hate you! He screamed at his wife. ‘I won’t take it anymore! I’ve had enough! I won’t go on! I won’t let it happen! No! No! No!’

“Several months later my friend woke up in the middle of the night and heard strange sounds coming from the room where his two-year-old son slept. He padded down the hall, stood for a moment outside his son’s door, and shivers ran through his flesh. He could not draw a breath. In a soft voice, the two-year-old was repeating word for word with precise inflection the argument between his mother and father. ‘I hate you….I won’t take it anymore….No! No! No!

“George realized that in some awful way he had just bequeathed his pain and anger and unforgiveness to the next generation.”

I remember the dull thud that hit my stomach in a moment of realizing some of the ugly things I have passed on to our kids. And I remember the wise advice that came my way at that time. “Focus on what God is doing in your life not what you have failed to do in your children’s lives.” The best way to turn the tables is by our children seeing the unrelenting power of the gospel continually transforming our hearts. That’s certainly worth passing on.