Changing in Relationships

A compelling and coherent way of life is formed in authentic communities.  In other words, it is in a relationship with others that our beliefs take on a lived quality.  We can only show unquenchable grace to someone who has messed up and does not deserve grace.  Forgiveness can only be extended or received when someone has been wronged.  Hospitality is practiced to others.  In relational community we love, serve and live in harmony with one another. 

I have dozens of relationships – with my wife, my children, co-workers, church community, neighbors and extended family.  Sometimes in this community of people I’m encouraged, at other times I’m challenged. Sometimes I’m frustrated and I also frustrate. Often I blow it.

A few Sundays ago we were on the way to meet with the church.  I was upset that morning.  Diana was upset that I was upset.  We drove in silence except for the occasional short one sentence remark.  Instead of going to the service we dropped the girls off at the door and headed out to the parking lot of a local gift store.  There we spent a couple of hours talking.  It was tense at times.  We uncovered some pretty unflattering things about ourselves.  

It seems that our interior selves frequently surface in the outworking of our relationship. It is there we often see the need to change. 

This does not mean we need to try harder to live up to a set of ideals.  God does not assign us this heavy burden.  He doesn’t say if we work hard enough, are creative enough, confident enough, disciplined enough, organized enough, good enough we will measure up. 

Instead Christ makes Himself available in a transformational companionship.  Firmly establishing love, joy, patience and kindness in our inner being.  He uses the rub of relationships to reveal our need, to give us Himself, and change us from the inside out. 

Changing Circumstances

 When it comes to entering into the communion closeness afforded to us through Immanuel, I seem to realize it in fits and starts.  While I may be on the road to practicing the accompanying presence of God, there are still those angry responses.  One day I may be filled with peaceful aliveness, and the next day I may struggle with being hurtfully damaged. Sometimes it is wholeness and grace; at other times it is uncertainty and insecurity.   

None-the-less God is faithful to continuously nourish and nurture growth.   One of the ways He seems to do this in my life is through changing circumstances.    

Our move to Mexico has been one of the greatest circumstance changers for our family.  It wrenched us out of a self-imposed comfort zone and turned our world upside down.  The simplest of tasks became a chore – transportation, communication and even health.  “Don’t eat there; don’t eat that; soak all your fruits and veggies in microdine; never drink the water, use Traida for vomiting and diarrhea,” were everyday comments and considerations. 

After we had been there for a few months, Daniel started complaining of a reoccurring stomach ache.  Sadly enough, I thought he was just making excuses and showed little sympathy.  Finally, in order to make my point we took him to the doctor.  Turns out he had e. coli, e. histolytica, and giardia.  The doctor prescribed medication, and we went home to research it in a book entitled Where There Is No Doctor.  It read, “Medicine may cause blindness and even death.”  Panic ensued. 

This incident captures the emotion and uncertainty that changing circumstances can create.  What I have discovered is that God uses them to show us both our weaknesses and give us the gift of desperation for Him.  The good and the difficult, the seen and the unforeseen, the big and not so big dislodge us from our confident complacency.  We come to a place of need.

Adjusting to another country is just one good example, but our lives are filled with other countless possibilities: children move away, a vocation is changed, health suffers, babies are born, new neighbors move in, loved ones grow older, a letter comes in the mail, finances are short, new opportunities come, others misunderstand, mid-life arrives, children marry.  On and on it goes.  At each corner God is waiting with the fellowship promise of, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 

We Want You to Enjoy This, Too

 When it comes to unique fish stories, John has some astounding ones. They are just not in the way you might first think.  It wasn’t so much the huge haul of fish he caught, but who gave him the casting lesson.  It wasn’t the early morning fish fry on the seashore as much as it was who cooked them up.  Nor that he was in the family fishing business, but whom he followed when he left it behind. 

In a letter John gets around to writing to some of his friends, he makes it clear he has been with Jesus.  You can sense the wonderment and authority in his voice when he tells them he heard and saw and touched the Word of Life. 

What powerful stories he had to tell.   After all he was there to taste the water turned to wine and hear the clank of coins as they hit the ground from overturned temple tables.  He felt the shock of realizing Jesus was talking to a despised foreign woman and tasted the fish that fed 5000 others.  He heard Jesus shout, “Lazarus, come out!” and pray, “Father, the hour has come.” and say, “It is finished.”  He authenticated all the divine flesh and blood reality of the death, burial, and resurrection.

But John had more to say.  He wants others to be in on this with him.  He invites us to participate in this Immanuel experience.   “Now we’re telling you so you can experience it along with us, this experience of communion with the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ.”  

In essence he is telling us, “Christ not only gave us Himself as a past reality, but He continues to give us Himself in communion as a present reality.  As redeemed children we have entered into an alertness and aliveness with Christ.  He draws near to heal our brokenhearted wounds and set us free from the bondages that hold us captive.” 

Now the closeness we enjoy is subtle and electrifying, gentle and ravishing, nuanced and captivating.  We are participants continually in an intimate relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

"Our motive for writing is simply this: We want you to enjoy this, too."

Living With a PR31W

A few days after Christmas Robert strode into the Wild Bean where we were enjoying our coffee, books and a slow day on a nice comfy couch.  His down coat was zipped tight, scarf wrapped securely around his neck and a tuque pulled down over his forehead.  He had a “Walden” look and bearing about him that Henry David Thoreau would have no doubt approved. 

I jumped up to offer him a cup of coffee, but he declined, only wanting the ride home he had requested earlier.  “This is my wife Diana,” I said by way of introduction. “Hello,” was his response.  She smiled and said hello.    

In the car Robert offered a simple insight, “Your wife is a happy person.” 

It was such a short encounter but such a quick impression.  I am reminded, “She always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.”

Our daughters were in a creative mood this Christmas season.  One day they gathered paper, pencils and markers, closed the bedroom door, and put their imagination to work.  What they came up with was an illustrated booklet that incorporated a variety of gift cards and a huge compliment of blessing to their mother. 

The Panera Bread, Starbucks, Joann’s and Amazon Cards were well given and well received as were the comments throughout.  “She’s skilled in the crafts…diligent in homemaking.”  “She is like a trading ship…bringing back exotic surprises.”  “She dresses in colorful lines and silks.”  “Give her everything she deserves.  Festoon her with praises!”    

The front cover summed it up well; it read “A Proverbs 31 Woman”.