Sundry Thoughts

Here are a few final sundry thoughts from the manhood seminar in no particular order:

 

A father needs a community of men around his son. Early on it is family and close friends, but as they spread their wings the community grows bigger.  I often said to Daniel, “When you leave home, look around for a godly man to mentor you.  It might be the president of the college or it might be the janitor.  Position isn’t important, but a heart for God is.”  The funny thing is that he took me at my word.  Now men I hardly know like Dan, Clint, Zane, AJ and Josh have made huge contributions into his life.

 

Settle on a definition of manhood.  What are the qualities you want to see developed in your son’s life?  Remember it is your definition.  It doesn’t have to be perfect but pursue these qualities together.  Be on the journey of mutual growth.  Personally I have found that I have been a good mentor in some ways and in others not so much.  One of the best gifts I gave to my son was our adventure to Mexico.  It was without a doubt one of our most stressful and difficult times in our relationship.  On the other hand it offered the elements that are challenging to a man.  Breaking out of our comfort zone, we entered into an adventure that took courage, changed our perspectives, was filled with hardship and grew our faith.   

 

John Eldredge makes this point clear in his book Wild at Heart.  “Life is not a problem to be solved; it is an adventure to be lived… [God] rigged the world in such a way that it only works when we embrace risk as the theme of our lives, which is to say, only when we live by faith.  A man just won’t be happy until he’s got adventure in his work, in his love and in his spiritual life.”

 

Of course you wonder about the long term impact of a ceremonious gathering.  Was it meaningful?  Will the teenage years enhance or erode the impact?  What will his adult life look like?  Soon after we arrived back in the U.S., Daniel took off for school in Colorado without mention of any confirmation.  Then when he returned on Christmas break, he asked if we could complete it.  So we gathered up some of the same men and met for a breakfast gathering.  I ecouraged him with these words, “I am proud of you. You have grown into a man and I give you my blessing.  Manhood is not a solo journey – surround yourself with Godly men.”    

 

These ceremonious gatherings are not just for our sons.  Diana has given both of our girls a womanhood tea.  Here’s the inspiration they were given, "A woman of God's design loves God wholeheartedly, finds her identity and security in Christ, seeks to reflect the image of God in modesty and virtue, and ministers grace to others through her biblical roles."